Feature

Jerusalem, Israel I never met Jesus, but rather wish I had, as not only did a religion develop around him but an industry as well. There is no better place to see this than in Jerusalem and no better place in Jerusalem than the Garden Tomb. It was down a peaceful alley, outside the city walls, and a place I was encouraged to visit by friends. It was where they said Jesus had been entombed. I arrived at the tomb the moment the front gates opened in the morning; it was odd[...]

Chania, Crete, Greece I have a plan, a brilliant one for retirement. As I wander the streets of Chania, Crete’s second largest city, it is clear what I must do. I will join the Greek elderly, sit at a harbourside café table, which will be round, metal and maroon, and stir my coffee clockwise - it has to be clockwise for some reason - while discussing the problems of our era with likeminded retirees. I will grow a grey beard, develop a paunch, and stare into the distance with authority. For that[...]

Wisley Gardens, United Kingdom “Dinosaurs!” the two young girls exclaimed, in almost unison. “Where? Come on Daddy, let’s go and see.” With a young daughter dragging on each arm, their father smiled, reluctantly pretended to be pulled towards the river’s edge, and muttered as he passed, “Thanks, mate. I suppose it’s up to me to explain?” I smiled, then nodded in reply, as the episode was entirely my doing. I was in Surrey’s Wisley Gardens, the flagship of Britain’s Royal Horticultural Society, and was spending a day wandering its 97 hectares of[...]

Brussels, Belgium I was not expecting a taxi driver with a significant belly obsession. At least a Walloon cabbie who claimed to have had, some years earlier, a massive stomach that would not fit behind his wheel. The Belgian turned towards me, dangerously, eyes off the road as he spoke, me in the rear seat, him in front, and patted his now six-pack abdomen with pride. “I lost 85 kilos,” he declared smugly, chest puffed out. We were speaking in French, schoolboy for me, fluent for him. I knew what I was[...]

Tripoli, Lebanon I blame Henry, or maybe Henrietta, as without him…or her...I simply would never have known. The agency has sent me to some truly strange places, and to do some truly strange things. You would have thought I would know what to do in any circumstance, or would at least know whom to ask. And then along came Henry, I have made him a boy, although he could easily have been a she, and female. Sexing animals, you see, has not formed part of agency training. If someone drops a bomb,[...]

Blea Rigg, near Grasmere, Cumbria, United Kingdom Many years ago, I met a farmer who had spent much of his life shepherding sheep. “You know,” the farmer said one day as we sat together swopping stories of the world, a thoughtful expression to his face, “I have yet to learn why sheep were invented.” “Wool?” I suggested. “Maybe,” he replied, “although the breed I handle is pretty hopeless for that.” “Grub?” “The world’s turning vegetarian.” “Are they as daft as they look?” I asked. “Dafter,” came the farmer’s reply, as he shrugged[...]